Spousal Abuse

Yesterday morning Ben got up and left for work at 6 am. I didn't have class until 1, so I had big plans to sleep until 8 or 9, work out, then go to school. The sleeping in part didn't happen, but I didn't really worry too much about it. That happens from time to time and 6 am is a perfectly reasonable time to get up in Big Girl Job world, so I got up and did some P90x.

I had a class from 7-10 pm and usually come home pretty cracked out for whatever reason, so I stayed up until 11 or so and went to bed. After two hours of nothing, I got up and played around on the computer for about an hour. It's amazing what you learn at 1 am from the internet (get your mind out of the gutter, sicko). Incidentally I did come across an article about mammograms, so I guess you can take that either way. Whatever blows your skirt up.

At 2 I went back to bed and felt myself happily drifting off to sleep, that is until a certain oaf who will remain nameless rolled over, crossed his arms over his face in the most hilariously funny fashion, reached over, and stuck his entire hand IN MY EYE. It scared me so badly I was up until 3, at which point he punched me in the face. Then an elbow at 4. I'm not really sure what I did to deserve this. My friend Vanessa suggested that maybe I wasn't doing my wifely duties. I'll have you know I cleaned the house yesterday. Barefoot. Barefoot and definitely NOT pregnant. I'm a good wife.

At one point after he hit me and I fussed, he woke up and said "WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?!" Well let's think about this for a minute. MAYBE I'm frustrated because I have been getting beat up on the hour every hour right before I fall asleep. CALL IT A HUNCH. Some time after 5 I was finally asleep, but I had to get up at 7:30 to make up the lab I missed from that ridiculous Nor'Easter. I got up, took a shower, got dressed, fed the pups, and kissed my dear sleeping hubby goodbye only to catch another elbow in the chin.

I'll take 2 dozen tulips and a 60 minute massage. Thanks.