Vote for Hank

This morning my mom sent me an email about a photo contest for the cutest dog of the season. The winning dog gets put on a greeting card, $1k, and $1k to their favorite animal charity. No offense, Kimber, but I think Hank would make a wonderful greeting card. That and I can't get you to sit still for more than half a second without you running over to me because I stepped more than 2 feet away from you. It's nothing personal.

A few years back Victoria got a super cute/somewhat funny picture of Hank and I thought I might give it a shot. Here's where you guys come in: I need you to vote for Hank. Please click this link and vote every day!! http://www.hhofdogcontest.com/node/1771

Spousal Abuse

Yesterday morning Ben got up and left for work at 6 am. I didn't have class until 1, so I had big plans to sleep until 8 or 9, work out, then go to school. The sleeping in part didn't happen, but I didn't really worry too much about it. That happens from time to time and 6 am is a perfectly reasonable time to get up in Big Girl Job world, so I got up and did some P90x.

I had a class from 7-10 pm and usually come home pretty cracked out for whatever reason, so I stayed up until 11 or so and went to bed. After two hours of nothing, I got up and played around on the computer for about an hour. It's amazing what you learn at 1 am from the internet (get your mind out of the gutter, sicko). Incidentally I did come across an article about mammograms, so I guess you can take that either way. Whatever blows your skirt up.

At 2 I went back to bed and felt myself happily drifting off to sleep, that is until a certain oaf who will remain nameless rolled over, crossed his arms over his face in the most hilariously funny fashion, reached over, and stuck his entire hand IN MY EYE. It scared me so badly I was up until 3, at which point he punched me in the face. Then an elbow at 4. I'm not really sure what I did to deserve this. My friend Vanessa suggested that maybe I wasn't doing my wifely duties. I'll have you know I cleaned the house yesterday. Barefoot. Barefoot and definitely NOT pregnant. I'm a good wife.

At one point after he hit me and I fussed, he woke up and said "WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?!" Well let's think about this for a minute. MAYBE I'm frustrated because I have been getting beat up on the hour every hour right before I fall asleep. CALL IT A HUNCH. Some time after 5 I was finally asleep, but I had to get up at 7:30 to make up the lab I missed from that ridiculous Nor'Easter. I got up, took a shower, got dressed, fed the pups, and kissed my dear sleeping hubby goodbye only to catch another elbow in the chin.

I'll take 2 dozen tulips and a 60 minute massage. Thanks.

Unintentional 4 Day Weekend

This weekend Ben and I got introduced to a very heinous weather pattern common to the east coast: the Nor'Easter. Look at the dog around 57 seconds - this is the look Kimber gave me for 3 days straight! I'm a mean mother for making her go potty in that. Also check out the 2 minute mark. This is why the whole city is covered in debris.



This storm was nuts. We had heard about Nor'Easters, but weren't really aware of the ramifications. Wednesday I went out to campus to study with my friends at Tropical Smoothie. Tropical Smoothie is about a block from the parking garage. I made it across the street before my umbrella flipped completely inside-out, snapping one of the supports and allowing rain to blow in sideways, drenching my body. The wind was completely insane! I found myself ducking into niches in the wall to avoid the rain for several seconds until I could get to the next one. How ridiculous. We got our studying done and right before the storm got really bad, I had enough good sense to go to the store while I was still wet and grab ingredients for Taco Soup. Spending your day drenched and miserable will do that to a person.

Turns out it was a pretty dang good idea. We had very little food in the house and were stuck inside for two days while that crap blew in with the force of a category 1 hurricane. There was a lot of flooding and some people had some pretty bad damage since the storm coincided with the moon's affinity for high tides. Side note: I had no idea the moon affected tidal patterns. I don't pay attention to weather much. School got canceled (and I had to miss a test.... I'm devastated - ha!), Ben's flights got canceled, and we hunkered down with nice hot bowls of delicious soup. Moral of the story: sometimes your cravings really save your life!

The Back Massage Liberation Organization

Something has been stolen from me. A thief broke into my house, retrieved a long-awaited package containing a very expensive flat iron, and stole it. Said thief removed the contents of the package and left me with a very detailed ransom message:

To Whom it May Concern, We, the person (aww, just one? how sad for you) of Back Massage Liberation Organization have taken your flat iron and will hold it until our ransom is paid. Our demands are written on back.

1. 2 back massages
2. a foot massage
3. CENSORED (you'll thank me for this)
4. dinner at Moe's

PAY OR ELSE

First of all, I would like to say that I am not impressed by your antics. I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my flat iron go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will burn you with it. I've always wanted to say that.

After finding said ransom note, I looked at Ben who looked back at me giddy with anticipation and announced that I have a pounding headache (still) and that the flat iron will appear eventually. Ben, looking a bit dejected, disappeared into the back of the house. When he returned, he said he received a text message with the thief's picture. The thief was holding a knife, so he said I should be aware that the thief means business:


I think they might be Muslim terrorists.

Trying to Keep This Thing Updated

This week has been a rough one. I'm really trying to keep my blog upbeat, but I just can't do it today and I have to get some of these frustrations out. Let's just say Ben's ready to shoot me in the head. It started with the knowledge that I had 3 exams to take and all quickly spiraled downhill after that. Sunday night I started to experience a very familiar burning sensation on my right side, one very consistent with shingles. Talk about annoying.

Monday I took my first exam of the week and it scared the pee out of me. I felt pretty confident going in, but the test was nothing like anticipated. All the points my prof had emphasized were nowhere to be found. Luckily she goes over the answers immediately after the exam, and I missed an A by one question, which again by pure luck she threw out (score!). I'll take a fudged A any day. Monday night I started getting a slight headache, but I attributed that to my 3 hour long night class.

Tuesday I went to the doctor to see about those nasty shingles. I still had the searing pain and was trying to catch the virus before it turned into a rash, but apparently that was the wrong thing to do. My doctor was unwilling to help me without proof for "ethical" reasons. Seriously? I wasn't there for narcotic pain meds - I'm allergic to them anyway. I just wanted to stop the infection before it started. I left feeling stupid and a bit like a liar instead, even though my pain was very real but completely invalidated. That's not a good feeling.

I spent the next couple of days studying a ton of material for my Gerontology exam today. I studied way too hard for this thing, meaning I went way more in depth than necessary and may have missed out on some easy points. At least it's over. One more to go, and I can take that on my own time. I'm thinking maybe once I start feeling better.

The headache has continued throughout the week with no relief. In fact, I think it has gotten worse. It's a bit like a never-ending hangover, only I haven't done anything to earn it. Seems unfair, don't you think? I didn't think it was possible to feel like this without 1/5 of tequila in my system. At least my side pain has felt pretty good by comparison, though it still hurts to wear clothes. Those stupid blisters never did pop out and I can't get medical care until they do. If they don't I can't face my doctor ever again. Just for spite, I'd really like to see this one work out. Shingles are painful, but totally worth it to be able to pop back in with a big fat "IN YO' FACE!!!"

That's right. Nothing like a good "I told you so" to round out a bad week. Now where's the tequila?