In Deep Doo-Doo

This is Hank, aka The Monkey. I call him Monkey because he loves bananas. Secretly, I also kind of thought it would be cool if he actually was a monkey. I would dress him up in a bow tie and tell people he was my monkey butler and everyone would laugh.

Sadly, today I got a taste of what it would actually be like to have a primate, minus the flinging part. Yes, Hank "The Monkey" Morton pooped in my house. Twice. While I was changing to take him on a walk so he could take care of said bodily function.

Ben got up really early this morning and took the dogs out around 5 a.m. At around 8 a.m., Hank was standing next to me letting out a quiet "woof!" to gently let me know that he needed something and would I please consider getting up? He's so sweet when he's trying to wake me. I love that about him. I got up, put on my shoes, and took the dogs down to the back yard, where to Hank's credit he started to go to the bathroom. He really tried, but as luck would have it, the next door neighbors started causing a ruckus and it scared the crap out of him (unfortunately, not in the literal sense) and he bolted for the door. I went back upstairs to put on acceptable clothes to walk him in, and that's when it happened. Oh. My. Hell. It was awful. I yelled and screamed and threw a huge fit. I finished, content in my rantings and ravings of a mad woman that I had scared him so badly he wouldn't even think of doing it again. Not 30 minutes later, I got out of the shower and guess what I found? MORE OF IT. MORE!!!

This time I grabbed him and rolled him on his back while I explained in no uncertain terms that he was a bad dog and this kind of thing will not be tolerated in my house. He's been pouting ever since.

Happy first day of nursing school to me. Isn't it a bit fitting that I would spend it cleaning up the bathroom emissions of the elderly?

Nursing School

Since one degree never seems to be enough these days, I've decided to go back for Round 2: Nursing School. Today was orientation and they said things to scare us with such phrases as, "You're going to work harder than you ever have in your life." and "This is going to be SO tough. We have the best program in the state of Virginia and we intend to keep it that way." but my favorite so far is "Come by my office. In it you will find a brandy snifter... and in that brandy snifter is... CHOCOLATE!!! LOTS AND LOTS OF CHOCOLATE!!!"

Apparently there is also a high incidence of twins if you should be so unfortunate as to get pregnant while in the nursing program at ODU (4 sets of twins in the past 18 months and there are probably only about 150 females to choose from). As they mentioned this to us, my friend Alyson leaned over and said something to the effect of, "Thank GOD my husband is in Iraq!" If there ever was an appropriate time to say such a thing, that was definitely it. As for me, I pulled out my purse just to make sure my dad hadn't managed to ninja his way up here to steal my birth control.

All in all, I'm feeling pretty good about this and am totally up for the challenge, at least for now. Ask me again in a week.

Sums up our Marriage

Let me first start by saying that I was warned. Earlier that day I pantsed Ben and it was glorious. He retaliated by letting me know that there was a prank somewhere in the house and I would just have to find it. Jackpot!

A Box of Puppies!

It seems like everyone I know is either pregnant or has just had their first child. While I love babies just as much as the next girl and am super excited about my beautiful new niece, I think most days I'd rather have the stork bring me one of these.

My parents are very disappointed in me.