I'm a Terrible Mother

I'm terrified of the day that I will have to say goodbye to one of my pups and for that reason, I'm super vigilant/neurotic when it comes to their health. The first time I found a lump on Hank I got so upset the vet gave me a big hug even though the thing was totally a giant lump of fat and completely harmless. Lately I've noticed Hank's neck has felt somewhat larger and maybe even a bit squishy near his throat. I'm well aware of my crazy and tried to shake it off, but I just couldn't do it, especially since he's gaining weight despite us cutting back his food at dinner time. He also seems to cough and choke a bit for no apparent reason at least once a day. Finally I decided I couldn't let it go any longer. I mentioned it to Ben who told me I was nuts and that Hank just has "old man throat." I'm sure that's a very real affliction. Much worse than the thyroid condition I suspected.

I called the vet to make an appointment, and the girl who answered the phone told me the same thing. Hank was probably getting old and his metabolism was slowing down and I should not worry about such silly things. The vet would probably just look at him and send us home with no issues. If I had any gall whatsoever, I probably would have gone off. First of all, anyone with a DVM behind their name is probably not going to be answering the appointment line. Second, I know my dog is getting old - I get that he will probably slow down a bit and gain some weight. I don't need you telling me everything will be fine when you haven't even seen the dude. Shut up and give me my appointment already, geez.

She finally gets me my appointment and we show up, only to be hassled by the same girl for a rabies certificate. I told her I had never received one and that shot records were always given to me in summary form when I checked out, which I had brought with me and provided every time before with no problems. She decided to call the vet office in Florida herself, only to be faxed the exact same form I brought. SUCK ON THAT, LADY!!

We finally get in to see the vet who looks at Hank and tells me his neck is indeed enlarged, he had gained 10-12 lbs which is a lot for a dog, the choking is suspicious, and that he does feel it necessary to draw blood and check his thyroid. I knew Ben's analysis was flawed! Turns out the guy worked on research animals (Bluetick Coonhounds in fact) at Baylor and knew a thing or two about Hank's past life, so we have it narrowed down to one of two things: thyroid issues or damage to his trachea/pharynx from all the times they intubated him while practicing anesthesia. My poor little boy. He said the only reason he suspects damage over thyroid was due to the fact that Hank had a shiny beautiful coat. He really does have a beautiful one. Much better than the beaver coat Vic wears (ha!).

Anywho, back to the point of this post. At the end of the exam when the girl mentioned above was checking us out, she asked what he thought. I told her that the vet had drawn blood and she cringed like the vet had made a big mistake and again told me Hank was just old and he was fine. I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU ARE ANSWERING PHONES WHEN YOU KNOW IT ALL. She requested the rabies certificate yet again and gave me the fax number to send it to if I should come across it. I dug through Hank and Kimber's medical records to see if I had ever been issued that dumb piece of paper and I ended up finding something even more interesting. Something that made me feel just terrible.

Our last vet in Florida who we adore wrote me a note to feed Hank Vitamin E every day (which I've been doing, hence the shiny, healthy coat that is NOT consistent with thyroid disease) and also that I needed to come back and get his thyroid checked in 2-3 months because he suspected a problem. That note was dated August 18th of 2008. Aaaaaaand I'm a bad mom. How did I miss that? I started to beat myself up over it, and then I realized I did bring him in 2-3 months later, and he left looking like this:


I kid, I kid. That was his Halloween costume. He was not pleased with us (more like he was pissed), but he won a contest and got lots of treats for it, so he can get glad in the pants he got mad in. Plus he looked really stinking cute in toilet paper. Look at him, he's adorable! In all seriousness, he really looked like this:


Bless his sweet heart. So you can see why his thyroid was not really a concern. We had much bigger problems back then.

At least I can feel a bit vindicated that nursing school has not contributed too much to my bit of crazy. I think it really helped in this case. As for "old man throat," we find out in 3 weeks. Until then, I think I'll just love on my sweet boy, hope for the best, and thank God for my stubbornness.